


Magical Clichéd Cheese Balls

by Prim_the_Amazing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Medieval, F/F, Mild Sexual Content, POV Jade Harley, Witches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-22
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-05-02 22:39:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5266436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prim_the_Amazing/pseuds/Prim_the_Amazing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade Harley and Roxy Lalonde are a couple (couple being the operative word) of witches living in a magical hut in a magical forest near a town that knows how to properly respect witches. They decide to have a little wicked fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Magical Clichéd Cheese Balls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bananly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananly/gifts).



“Is that love potion for Prince Ampora ready yet?” Jade asked absently as she refilled Rose’s water bowl. She meowed appreciatively. “I’m going to go and deliver Sir Strider’s present for Sir Vantas soon, since it’s pretty much done now.”

“Yup!” Roxy answered, tucking an errant blonde lock behind her ear. “I made sure to make it even more pink and floral this time, so that it’ll look extra convincing. I think I poured, like, half a bottle of perfume in it or something!”

“He’s going to have to realize that we’re scamming him eventually,” Jade sighed as she straightened, setting aside the water jug. “He’s going to set his knights on us.”

“Oh, you mean the knights Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas? To whom we are delivering their now indestructible and extra shiny engagement rings? Who we went to the fair with together last full moon? Those two—“

“I get it! Geeze,” Jade interrupted her. She smiled and embraced Roxy from behind, hands linked together at Roxy’s waist, mouth by her ear. Mm, she must have spilt some of that perfume on her while she was making the faux potion. She smelled like a bouquet, roses and daisies and orchids and tulips and more, all mixing together perfectly into an impossibly tantalizing scent, keeping the best parts of their scents and discarding the bad, when it should really just smell eye wateringly overpowering. Magic.

Roxy twirled around in her arms so that she was facing Jade, her fingers intertwining behind Jade’s neck, a pressure pushing her down to meet Roxy’s waiting, grinning lips. Jade closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. Roxy mumbled something incomprehensible into their locked lips, and Jade made an agreeing sounding hum on principle. Roxy slipped her hand onto Jade’s shoulders, presumably so that she could keep Jade in place as she separated from her (she let out a pitiful whine), an amused crooked grin on her face. Jade bit her lower lip with want and used her best puppy eyes.

“I was talking to the hut, not you,” she clarified. “Hut, code blue moon.”

The many charms they’d carved into the wood of their home rang with acknowledgment.

Jade’s eyes widened, and then narrowed. “What does that charm do? I do not remember imbuing that with you!”

“It is a surprise.” Oh no, she was using her mischievous sing song voice again. What could it be? The suspense was killing her!

“The suspense is killing me!” Jade said.

“Pretty soon it will be the orgasms that will be killing you.” Roxy winked suggestively. “Wait, shit.”

Jade broke out into startled laughter. “You--you’ve been talking with Sir Strider too—too much! Oh god.”

Roxy huffed and dragged Jade into their bedroom with her. Jade’s jaw dropped. Roxy waggled her eyebrows at her. “Impressed, eh? Eh?”

“… This is a fire hazard! And also terribly cliché.”

Roxy pouted, and so Jade added, “But still very romantic.” And so mollified, Jade then kissed Roxy by the low, flickering, orange light of the dozens of lit candles. There were rose petals everywhere as well. The charm better sweep those up when they were done, or Roxy would have to do it herself, using her own broom.

Jade began kissing Roxy again, and slowly walked forward, forcing Roxy to walk backwards. Pretty soon the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and she fell backwards onto her back with Jade falling on top of her. Just as planned.

Roxy squealed a little bit as they fell, and then made an exaggerated “Oof!” when Jade landed on her.

“You rude little tart,” Jade said, eyes narrowed dangerously.

Roxy grinned impishly and plucked the round glasses off of Jade’s face, tossing them onto the floor. Jade had enchanted them ages ago to be tough enough to at least withstand something like that, so she didn’t mind.

“Oh, I am so sorry, my dear. You know that I will love you no matter what. Would a romantic walk by the nymph lakes afterwards perhaps soothe your wounded soul? Maybe a little jig with the satyrs? I would hate to—“

“Shut uuuup, you dork!” Jade whined, and kissed her way down Roxy’s neck to distract her. Roxy threw her head back and laughed, conveniently offering up her neck for Jade.

Jade made sure to make an extra-large hickey right smack dab on her neck, and Jade tasted the nice, slightly salty taste of human skin, warm and familiar. She kissed the edge of where the hickey would form in a few hours and delighted at the way Roxy shivered.

She ran her hands up and down her sides, riding up her shirt, raking her fingernails lightly over her ribs. Roxy had managed to get her hands underneath Jade’s shirt, and was now dexterously taking off her bra, her fingers nimble with experience. Jade pulled her shirt and bra off while Roxy did the same, and then she dove back down, mouth on hers, fingers entwining.

“I love you,” Roxy whispered breathlessly.

“I love you too,” Jade replied.

Their legs tangled, breaths harshening, breathy moans and groans, friction…

Jade is pretty sure she actually gasped some sort of curse when she came, the magical kind, but her mind was too blank to notice. She blinks until the fireworks stop going off, but then when they don’t she curses, the swearing kind this time. Did she just set fire to the bedroom again god damn it Roxy will make her wear a muzzle next time wait that actually sounds kind of fun—

Roxy laughed, clear as bells, delighted. Beautiful. Jade extracted herself from her girlfriend and went on a quick search for her glasses on the floor. She put them on and blinked. She’d summoned fireflies.

“And you call me cliché, you horrible cheese ball. The hypocrisy!” Roxy teased.

Jade closed her eyes. Roxy was going to hold this over her for weeks. She fought back the answering grin and flush though. It was pretty funny.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Magic is Fake and Ridiculous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7577293) by [buttmaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster)




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